Are you married to someone who is a Narcissist, Bipolar, Obsessive Compulsive, Depressed or has Borderline Personality Disorder?

Are you stuck in a difficult marriage?

I can help you!

If you are married to someone who is narcissistic, sociopathic, anxious/OCD, depressed, borderline, paranoid, abusive, addicted, or schizophrenic, I am medically trained to assist you in your divorce.

Knowing the characteristics of these psychological disorders enables me to help you get the best results. With both a medical and legal degree, Lois Brenner helps people married to someone with a character disorder because she knows what you are dealing with. The only divorce lawyer who specializes in this, I have developed a method that takes these diagnoses into account in order to get you the best results in your divorce, separation, or prenuptial or postnuptial agreement.

Whether you need mediation, negotiation, or litigation, we will help you choose the divorce path that is right for you and your family.

With more than 35 years experience, our divorce team includes mediators, litigators, psychologists, psychiatrists, divorce counselors, financial advisors and even a wellness package to help you feel better as you go through this process.

To find out how we can assist you, call (212) 734-1551 or fill out the application form for a consultation.

You don't have to suffer – we have the answers.

Divorcing a narcissist, sociopath, or someone with bipolar disorder, anxiety, depression, borderline personality disorder, paranoia, or schizophrenia can be an incredibly challenging, tiring, and emotionally draining experience. Narcissists have a deep-seated need for control, and they often refuse to accept responsibility for their actions. This can make it difficult to negotiate a fair settlement and move on with your life.

There are different ways to proceed with your divorce including negotiation, mediation, and litigation.

As a psychologically trained divorce attorney and mediator with a medical license, I have a special expertise when it comes to divorcing a spouse with one of these disorders.

Here is my advice on how to protect yourself and prepare properly when divorcing someone with mental illness. I hope this information helps you as you begin this journey. Remember, you don’t have to do it alone!

  1. Document Everything

And I mean everything!

One of the most important things you can do when preparing to divorce someone with a mental illness is to document everything. This means keeping a record of all communications, including emails, text messages, and phone calls. It also means keeping a detailed log of all interactions with your spouse, including any incidents of abuse or other inappropriate behavior. The more information you have, the better!

  1. Seek Professional Help

Dealing with a spouse with mental illness can be incredibly stressful and emotionally draining. It's important to seek professional help to manage your stress and anxiety during this time. This might include working with a therapist or counselor who specializes in divorce and/or mental health or joining one of our support groups.

You may also want to consider working with a divorce attorney/mediator like me who has experience dealing with narcissistic, bipolar, sociopathic, borderline personality, anxious, depressed, paranoid, abusive, and schizophrenic behavior. I can help you develop a strategy for protecting yourself and your children during the divorce process.

As a medically trained divorce attorney/mediator, I have experts in many disciplines as part of my team to assist in this process including a wellness package to help you cope.

  1. Set Boundaries

People with mental illness are often extremely manipulative and controlling. It's important to set clear boundaries with your spouse to protect yourself from their manipulation. This might mean limiting contact with them, avoiding certain topics of conversation, or refusing to engage in arguments.

  1. Be Prepared

Gather all necessary documentation, including financial records, communication records, and any evidence of abuse or other inappropriate behavior that may help you.

  1. Focus on Your Own Needs

Don’t get caught up in the drama of your spouse and lose sight of what you need! Stay focused on your own goals and priorities, whether that is protecting your children, securing a fair settlement, or simply maintaining your own sanity.

What does Narcissism look like?

  • Excessive self-importance: Narcissism involves an inflated sense of self-worth and a belief in one's superiority or specialness.

  • Lack of empathy: Narcissistic individuals often display a diminished capacity to understand or care about others' feelings and needs.

  • Need for admiration: Narcissists seek constant attention, validation, and admiration from others to maintain their fragile self-esteem.

What does Sociopathy look like?

  • Lack of empathy and remorse: Sociopaths/individuals with ASPD typically have a limited ability to empathize with others or feel guilt or remorse for their actions. They often disregard the rights and feelings of others without experiencing significant distress or remorse.

  • Manipulative and deceitful behavior: Sociopaths/ASPD individuals frequently engage in manipulative and deceitful behaviors to achieve their goals. They may lie, manipulate, or exploit others for personal gain or pleasure, without regard for the well-being or consequences to others.

  • Impulsivity and disregard for societal norms: Sociopaths/ASPD individuals often exhibit impulsive and reckless behaviors. They may have a disregard for societal rules and norms, engage in criminal activities, and demonstrate a lack of long-term planning or responsibility.

What does Bipolar Disorder look like?

  • Mood swings: Bipolar disorder involves significant shifts in mood, with manic episodes (elevated mood, high energy) and depressive episodes (persistent sadness, low energy).

  • Cycling between episodes: People with bipolar disorder experience alternating episodes of mania and depression, with periods of stability in between.

What does Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) look like?

  • Emotional instability: Individuals with BPD experience intense and rapidly shifting emotions, often struggling with chronic feelings of emptiness, anger, or anxiety. Their emotional responses can be unpredictable and disproportionate to the situation.

  • Impulsive and self-destructive behavior: People with BPD may engage in impulsive behaviors such as self-harm, substance abuse, reckless spending, or risky sexual activities. They often have difficulty controlling their impulses.

  • Unstable relationships and self-image: BPD is associated with a pattern of unstable and intense relationships, marked by idealization and devaluation of others. Individuals with BPD may also struggle with a fluctuating sense of self, leading to identity disturbances and feelings of emptiness.

What does Depression look like?

  • Persistent sadness: Depression involves a persistent and pervasive feeling of sadness or low mood that lasts for an extended period of time, typically two weeks or more.

  • Loss of interest and pleasure: People with depression often experience a loss of interest or pleasure in activities they used to enjoy. They may have a reduced energy level, difficulty concentrating, and changes in appetite and sleep patterns.

  • Negative thinking and self-criticism: Depression often involves persistent negative thoughts, self-criticism, and a distorted perception of oneself and the world. Individuals with depression may have feelings of worthlessness, hopelessness, and a pessimistic outlook on life.

What does Anxiety look like?

  • Excessive worry: Anxiety involves excessive and persistent worry or fear about various aspects of life, such as work, relationships, health, or everyday situations. The worry is often disproportionate to the actual threat or situation.

  • Physical and psychological symptoms: Anxiety can manifest in physical symptoms like restlessness, fatigue, muscle tension, and difficulty sleeping. It can also lead to psychological symptoms such as irritability, difficulty concentrating, and a sense of impending doom.

  • Avoidance behavior: Individuals with anxiety may engage in avoidance behaviors to evade situations or triggers that provoke anxiety. They may avoid social interactions, specific places, or activities that make them feel anxious.

What does Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) look like?

  • Obsessions: OCD is characterized by recurrent and intrusive thoughts, urges, or images that cause distress and anxiety. These obsessions are often irrational and unwanted, and individuals may try to ignore or suppress them.

  • Compulsions: People with OCD engage in repetitive behaviors or mental acts, known as compulsions, in response to their obsessions. These compulsions are aimed at reducing anxiety or preventing a feared outcome. Common examples include excessive handwashing, checking, counting, or arranging items in a particular order.

What does Addiction look like?

  • Compulsive behavior: Addiction involves engaging in compulsive and repetitive behavior, such as substance use or certain activities, despite negative consequences. There is a persistent and overwhelming urge to engage in the behavior, often leading to loss of control.

  • Dependence and withdrawal: Addiction often leads to physical or psychological dependence, where the body and mind become accustomed to the substance or behavior. When the substance or behavior is discontinued, withdrawal symptoms may occur, reinforcing the need to continue the addictive behavior.

What does Paranoia look like?

  • Excessive mistrust and suspicion: Paranoia involves an excessive and irrational mistrust or suspicion of others, even in the absence of evidence or justification. Individuals with paranoia may perceive innocent actions or statements as deliberately threatening or malicious.

  • Heightened vigilance and hypervigilance: Paranoia is often accompanied by heightened vigilance and hypervigilance, where individuals are constantly on guard, expecting harm or danger. They may constantly scan their environment for potential threats or signs of betrayal.

  • Impact on thoughts and behaviors: It may lead to social withdrawal, isolation, difficulty in forming or maintaining relationships, and disruptions in daily life and functioning.

What does Schizophrenia look like?

  • Distorted perception and thinking: Schizophrenia is a chronic mental disorder characterized by distorted perception of reality, disorganized thinking, and impaired social functioning. Individuals with schizophrenia may experience hallucinations (perceiving things that are not present) and delusions (false beliefs not based in reality).

  • Disorganized behavior and speech: Schizophrenia often involves disorganized behavior and speech patterns. Individuals may exhibit unpredictable or inappropriate behavior and have difficulty organizing their thoughts and communicating coherently.

  • Impairment in daily life: It may lead to social withdrawal, difficulty with concentration and memory, and a decline in overall functioning.

"Lois Brenner was great to work with. She was very thorough and efficient! I would recommend Lois to anyone seeking an amicable divorce."

– Ronald W.

"Lois is truly an extraordinary lawyer and human being. My experience with her is powerfully profound. So incredibly grateful for her guidance and consultation. I would highly recommend her to anyone who needs to protect themselves and their loved ones."

– John M.

YOUR DIVORCE PROCESS SIMPLIFIED

Lois Brenner will listen and get to know you, your family dynamics, and evaluate the emotional and legal makeup of your marriage. If after your meeting, your preference is to compromise, she will help you "negotiate." If your desire is to keep the peace, she will help you "mediate." If your course of action is to fight, she will help you "litigate."

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NEGOTIATION

A quicker approach that focuses on compromise. Takes months, not years. Less expensive and less adversarial.

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MEDIATION

A quicker approach that focuses on compromise. Takes months, not years. Less expensive and less adversarial.

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LITIGATION

A traditional approach for when you need to fight. Can take months or even years. Most expensive and can be very stressful.

Ready to start the divorce process? Submit your application through our form below

If you are interested in reading more, reach out for a copy of Getting Your Share by Lois Brenner!

Since I wrote this book, mediation has become a popular and less painful way to end a marriage. My method includes sessions with the couple to help negotiate a separation agreement and divorce. There are no lawyers and no judges in the process itself. I help the couple make decisions when they disagree or are having a hard time resolving issues regarding property, child and spousal support, and custody. Mediation even works when couples are angry.

Mediation takes less time (usually just weeks), is not adversarial, and is less expensive than going to court. Many people are not even aware that this possibility exists. I start off with a phone call explaining the process to see if it is appropriate for each couple. If it is, we have several sessions to decide on all the necessary issues, and then I write the legal agreement. I then prepare the court papers for an uncontested divorce, file them, and expedite the judgment when possible.

If mediation is not a viable option, I guide clients through the negotiation with the other lawyer, or if litigation is necessary, we discuss the process in detail to understand what is going to happen in court.

Once I became a licensed medical provider, I concentrated on helping people who were divorcing a spouse with a psychiatric diagnosis such as narcissistism, sociopathy, anxiety/OCD, depression, borderline personality disorder, paranoia, addiction, or schizophrenia. I found that I could get better results than others because of my training in psychiatry.

About Lois Brenner

Lois M. Brenner, Esq., PA-C, is a distinguished New York divorce attorney, accredited divorce mediator, and licensed medical professional with a psychological background. With more than 35 years of experience, she possesses the knowledge and expertise to devise effective strategies that yield optimal results for her clients, enabling them to maximize their assets.

Ms. Brenner's professional journey began after completing graduate business courses and serving as CEO of a successful corporation. She transitioned to the legal field as a corporate attorney at the esteemed Sullivan & Cromwell firm. She later became the head of the matrimonial department at Herzfeld & Rubin, a prominent Wall Street firm, before establishing her own practice.

Renowned for her advocacy skills, negotiation prowess, and trial litigation acumen, Ms. Brenner's capabilities have been acknowledged by the New York State Supreme Court, which appointed her to mediate challenging cases.

As an accomplished author, Ms. Brenner penned the book "Getting Your Share," a distinguished publication on divorce featured on Oprah. Her insights have also been sought after by prestigious publications such as The New York Times and New York Magazine, where she has contributed articles and been quoted extensively. She has appeared as an expert on family law on popular media platforms including Oprah, Good Morning America, and CNN.

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